Drop The Bass!

Hello everyone, it's me after a long wait. Just thought I'd update my old blog after so long, things have been hard indeed. I've gained and lost a job, been missing some friends, and been kept extremely busy. I've become a full-on DJ and novelist, two things I'm taking alot of pride in. Especially at the age of just 17, how many people my age can say they've done the things I've done? Don't answer that question, I'd like to keep my pride intact for a while.

Been addicted as hell to...welll...alotta things, Touhou being one of my biggest things. I'm writing fanfiction on it, DJ'ing it's moosix, and even occasionally drawing fanart (which nobody will ever see, I'm too embarrased!). I've also taken a liking to jazz music and PC gaming.

Now here's where things change...I've taken a liking back to poetry again, so maybe I can find some time to come up with some new stuff. As embarrassing as it is, I got the inspiration from when I was trying to come up with lyrics for my first Touhou music remix. Luckily those lyrics never made it to the music, I probably would've just embarrassed myself anyways. Well, I'mma cut this blog short for today, kinda wanna get back to gaming, it's been a long day for me! Later everyone, take care...

Change of Heart

Been a while since I've posted here, things have changed alot since my days of poetry. I'm better at writing now, working hard on my first novel and sending out occasional query letters. I'm also on antideppresants that should (hopefully) keep me from hitting rock bottom anymore. I also have a wonderful girlfriend now that I love very very much and anytime I'm sad she always stays by my side. I don't know where I'd be right now without her lol. Beyond all the usual stuff, my tastes have changed tremendously, especially in my usual sites I visit. I've been into writing fanfiction lately, for a special series named Hyperdimension Neptunia. I'll post the link to it here at the end of the blog. I think this'll about wrap up things for now, I've gotta get ready for school here in not long, so farewell all for now.

Link to my fanfiction: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7943636/1/Hyperdimension_Neptunia_Eternal_Prototype

Voltage of Harmony

Voltage of Harmony

By: Cory L.W. Clark

Such divinity comes only once in a life

I feel that surge coursing through

Cleansing the blood and the wounds

But restarting the machine

It started again, but it’s not what it once was

The arcs of true power

I feel it running around

Circulating again and again

I’m alive once more

But is this truly being alive?

Perhaps logic and emotion melded together

This machine isn’t the same anymore

V2.0

I live off the thrill, the electricity of life

It sparks and vibrates

Sending shockwaves down my spine

That fated moment when that frozen thunder

Came alive and surged in my veins

I could feel dark pulses reinvigorating

Igniting the engine of destruction

Letting loose bolts of salvation

Rekindling the life-force within

I can’t stop it and I don’t want it to

The true reason to life

Is the voltage of the purest harmony

This amperage of life isn’t as real as a soul

But it’s enough to start me again

To let me move again

Let the dark current flow inside

It feeds me, let’s me live

I won’t forsake my second chance

I’ll live off the wattage

The voltage

Again I’ll live and this time

I’m going to make a difference

I’m not shutting down anytime soon

So I’m going to enjoy every single minute

Of this raw current of life.

Time to live it up

No fears, no regrets, no remorse

Just 100% raw energy

And enough battery power to last a lifetime

(\ ==Reaver== /)

Syndicate of Acid Tears

Syndicate of Acid Tears

By: Cory L.W. Clark

A play on words this broken symphony

Thinking what once used to be

Keeps telling them all to forget me

Cause they’re all blind and never see

The torture, pain, and agony

That all mistake as a melody

A grand lie that I intend to keep

My mind this play pretends to reap

Crushed dreams and dead hopes begin to seep

Forcing this mind to sink ever so deep

Start to see shadows that endlessly creep

In my head the shades dance and leap

Up above there’s a glimpse of light

Not quite out of sight

But it taunts me in my blight

I can’t even gain the urge to fight

Just stare at the light up in height

Laughing at my lack of might

Despair has sapped me dry

No longer can I even try

But rather lie down and die

Dark light floods my eye

Jet-black darkness I live by

In a pool of dark blood I lie

The light never wanted to pull me out

Just tease and torment me with doubt

Kill this black mind with fears

Rain a syndicate of acid tears

Kill off the rest of this broken mind

Kill off the rest of this dead heart

Drain my blood and leave me dead

Cause only darkness is left in this head

The Soul Of A Gamer, Minds in Control With Hearts Holding The Controller

Alot has happened these past few days. I've lost myself and found it again. There was a path I was meant to follow. I had lost sight of that path for a while and I was lost completely. I had forgotten where my land was. Throughout the days a dear friend of mine has helped remind me of what I live and die for. I've forgotten what I had loved. My games, my cherished life. I forgot it.

Seeing where others failed, reminds me of where I had succeeded. My passion, desire, hopes, dreams, achievements; they all lie within that digital world made by the imaginations of those with vivid minds and the desire to create. You see, when I first started gaming, I believe myself to be enchanted by the spirit of gaming. I saw what it truly meant to play. My young mind was exposed to everything and every unreal thing. It helped me grow as a gamer. A true one at that.

These past few days I've forgotten those roots of mine. I had become a slave to the very thing I worshipped. That was my mistake.

A very good friend helped me see what I loved about gaming. Not directly though, but through my own eyes. I remember back when games used to be a portal to another world. A sight unseen but experienced like a dream. Back when I took the role given by the game and explored the lands set before me. I truly cherished my experiences in these "dreams". There were goals to meet, creatures to conquer, adventures to be had. It was a true experience and a beloved one that I left behind for the terrible reasons. I remember now what it means to game, as a real gamer. It matters not who you meet in these worlds, matters not whether you have fun or not, what truly matters is that you get all you can from this wonderful experience. That you experience the game as it was meant to be experienced. As another adventure to be had, another different perspective of life, and a meaning behind pushing those buttons.

And there's more to it. Playing a game on easy is fun and all, but it takes away the true experience of immersing yourself into the game. When you try your hardest to achieve that immersion the game becomes worth even more. You achieve more in the end for the harder you try. You get to play the game as it was meant to be played. People take the wrong paths, letting other's breeze them through the achievements that aren't really even achievements if they aren't made yourself. The memories, the game. It's all lost when you don't take the time to appreciate and put yourself into the game. Don't let an easier path choose where you want to go. That will ruin the experience you could be having if you take the longer route and enjoy what's true in the game. Competition and wrongful emotions have also clouded the minds of what could be fulfilled gamers. Jealousy, hate, desire, greed, anger...

They all come from that desire of superiority. That wrongful need to be better than everyone else. That isn't what the game is meant to be about, you don't HAVE to be better. That desire to be above everyone else takes you away from the enjoyment of the game and what really matters inside it. Alot of people have forgotten all this. I find it hard to relate to any gamer anymore. They're either too casual or too hardcore. They aren't playing the game as it should be played. What they should be focusing on is what lies within. The worlds, the quests, the people, the creatures. They're all part of something more. They belong to a world created for you to enter. And as of now, people are wandering around aimlessly inside or straying to the wrong paths. What you should be seeing, is the lines layed out for you to see clearly. The path that will bring the most out of the game. Your achievements are only significant if you worked hard WITH the GAME . Not with other people and not blindly skipping through the interest of what's imagined as a new life. In the real world, you see all that appears before you. You can't expect life to hand you everything that you need and want. You can't skip through conversations with the other characters in your real life. You EXPERIENCE what is meant to be experienced through the life your set to follow and see. That's what the game is meant to do. To bring you new viewpoints and sights for you to see, to live another life that's built for you.

And through these days I've also sinned another way towards gaming. Selectivity. It's good to call a game your sacred sanctuary, but there is in fact a whole world out there. Sure you can always return to your sanctuary, but remember here that there's more to be had here in gaming. I've stayed too long on my holy grounds and forgot what it means to explore and see all the different adventures out there still waiting to be seen. See the gaming world for what it is, not just what you see now, or you will be blind for a while to come. As a veteran and follower of the gaming world, I've seen the sights, been to places known and unknown and truly SEEN this majestic and wonderful universe. You see with what's in mind, not what appears on screen.

I may sound like a nerd, I am and I'm proud of it. Regardless of who I am, my voice is still here and my opinion is still made. I may be getting carried away with what some see as a simple past-time, but for me, gaming is a lifestyle, a philosophy, and a belief. There's much to be seen, heard, and done in these worlds, so why hold yourself back from that? I ask you now...all of you gamers who read this...

Casual gamers, step it up a notch and truly experience the game that's there to be played. Make your progress, make your life in this world, reach your true potential, and truly make something of what you should and CAN in the gaming universe

Hardcore gamers, step down from your "holy pedastals" and see what the games truly about. Superiority makes fools of those who let it fool them. Your so-called dedication is leading you away from the game. This world was not set here for you to conquer, but for you to live in.

This is my statement, my point. For I believe that I have been blessed by the spirit of gaming to see true these wonders of the imagination. You may say otherwise, you may call me a fool, you can look to me like I'm crazy, but I don't care. I belive in my lifestyle and what I hold dear and I hope that fellow gamers can see and understand what I put out for you all to see. For this is my life, a life in the gaming world...

Blood In The Machine

Blood in the Machine

By Cory L.W. Clark

Two sides but only one will win

Clash and clutter again and again

Machines fail and blood spills

The fog of war set’s straight the kills

Thrive off family or seek independence

Corrupted with light ever since

I sought these wings I hold dear

Now turn to steel to craft my fear

A mind corrupted with glyphs

Pistons urge and the brain shifts

Logic gives the machine life

But blood causes more strife

Bound to a fleshy shell

This machine sees as hell

It begs release from mortal chains

But empty dreams are all that remains

Love and care stop the gears cold

System failure is what I’m told

Seeing my brain stopped dead

By what that love said

Makes me wonder what path to take

Which ethics are mine and which are fake?

I question over and over

If there’s perhaps something more

Something I just don’t see

The one thing that might set me free

A machine with no power makes no effort

Let’s itself rust and fall apart

So what is it that might turn it on?

Awaken the senses to a new dawn

Revolution comes to those that seek

It’s needed most when times are bleak

But what changes and what stays the same?

What’s left to run wild and what is to tame?

What all will I learn

While I wait for the power to return

What all will I be able to find

While cold logic reboots the mind

I’ll set aside what’s bad and good

And just do what I think I should

To get this mind back on track

Before my mind suffers another attack

This machine will drift through space…for now…

Hall of Crying Angels

The Hall of Crying Angels

By Cory L.W.Clark

I find myself again at the Hall of Dead Friends

Hoping to find answers in the remnants of what once was

The ceiling collapsed just as my past was

The sun shines a false hope, shining light on the dead

All the mirrors down this hall cracked and failed

Reminding me of my darkened past

Trees of dismay grow shattered vines that cover the floor

I see the mirror of myself no more

So what is there left to judge of myself?

My hall is wrecked, what I saw is gone

Just a fragment of what this broken mind once saw

Staring at the sky I see a mystic yellow

Like the suns false hope has bled a deep wound

Out into the sky that shines upon my broken hall

I look forward to see that grand mirror at the end

So many scars pollute the surface of this mirror

Though it has yet to loose it's shine and shimmer

My angel inside....

She's crying....

So should I cry with her?

I pick up the remnants for one last try

To make my angel stop crying

Her tears are burning worse than any inferno

But it seems that all these pieces of failed friends

None of them seem to fit

I can't make her stop crying, I can't fix her broken heart

A heart that is apparently my own

All these shards I pick up etch names into my arm

These markings bleed out a darkened blood

Again and again I'm reminded of what once was

These vines of hate cover up the parts that could help save her

They trap and hide all the shards that fit the grand angel

Nature takes it's course for the worst

Killing me to fuel itself, make me suffer so it can live

It siphons every last drop of hope and faith I have left

Those guillotines that resided above have shifted

Making a cage above me, no longer offering death

But instead trapping me inside to suffer

They trap me inside with these memories

Shrieks ended far from gone and still ringing inside

They'll always be here, no matter what

I'll always find myself in this same hall, begging for it's destruction

Even in ruins it brings me back to see what lies inside

All of it now masked by nature taking it's course

And taking away what I need most

I rest my hand on the mirrors that once shined

They bleed rather than me, crying to me

Soon I see all my mirrors, faded angels of my mind

Shining a faded glimpse of the friends that died

Parts of them are gone but what's left reminds me

Of a world that I once called my home

Standing back now to see all of them bright again

I hear the celestial whispers, their words of wind

Telling me that my time here will last

But I'll have these angels of my friends here

To help me fix the grand angel and see her smile again

One day this angel will smile again

But will I smile with her or will I be crying over my scars?

I look down to see the mirror on the floor look back

I see no longer the sight of myself

But a hooded figure looking back at me with steel wings

The scythe he holds beckons for me

Telling me that it's protection is mine

A man controlled by that he holds dear

Yeah...that's what I see, that's myself soon

Or maybe that was me all along?

Ghosts of my past guide my footsteps, every thought and emotion

Ruled by these mirrors strangled by vines

These trees of rage loom over me

But the smiles of angels long past

Make an aura of light that push out the shadows

The shadows made by these hateful trees

While I rebuild my hope, make my angel happy again

I will listen to voices of my past

The past that I thought had always hurt me

I come back here in hopes of lifting the fog

To find the answers glowing in strange glyphs on the walls

Those strange letters, my once infamous ethics

Other's before myself.....

Why did I forget that?

These things that guided me, my past I left

I can't believe the future of hate has left me so blind

Maybe I do belong in the past?

Or perhaps my present is what makes them both what they are?

A blend of demons and angels together

Create perfect harmony

But it's only harmony when I hear it that way

Put these symphonies of whispers and shrieks together

Add a blend of my echoes and make a melody

See the things I forgot come back in my song of salvation

Vines...the chains holding my friends

Trees....the hate clouding their angels

Sky....the true bleeding heart

Maybe nature can purge the corruption

What to do to free my friends and save my angel?

It seems impossible, but with my angels here...

I can move on, but only if they stay

For now, all I can do...

Is tell my angel that it'll all be alright

Look down and see my hooded reaper

Reminding me of what I fight for

The angels of my friends will push out their chains

Knowing their angels will guide me further

I'll piece back together the mirror of my angel

This hall of dead friends

Is now the hall of crying angels

Let me dry your tears dearest angels

Let me end your torment

Put you all back together to make a bright home

The grand mirror of my angel

Will someday hold that sweet young girl I seek

The love I have will not be in vain

If I have an army of angels pushing me on

Live on for me Angie, I'm here for you

Even if I need it the most....