Thursday, June 30, 2011
Disruption and Violence
Things are getting bad. I'm pretty sure I'm slowly losing my mind in this place. Last night, I leaving one of my good friends a text telling her I was going to bed. While I was typing though, I heard something. Bells. Like bell bells. Not church bells but bells in a band. They were playing what sounded like a lullaby. I could hear people talking amongst it. I didn't recognize any of the voices but the song sounded kinda familiar. I finished texting and the sounds subsided but it only gets weirder. I started tearing up and almost cried for no reason. I couldn't contain myself, I openly wept for no reason at all. Once I slowed my tears though, I gained a mysterious bloodlust. This was beyond anything any of my depressions spawned before, and truthfully, it terrified me. I needed blood! Even just to see death and chaos would subside the strange beast within. Turning on my Xbox and actually playing it for the first time in weeks, I played Gears of War for about 4 hours. I made it to wave 40 before my fury ended and I could go to bed. Somethings very wrong with me, I don't think the depression stages are doing this anymore, I think I'm actually starting to lose grip of my mind. I hope this doesn't continue, I really don't plan to spend my future in the psycho ward...
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2 comments:
if thats what you think is going on then me and alex will be here to calm the beast for i feel that we may hold a cure for you... what it is i cant say for i've not the slightest... but we will be there for you ok so just hold out for us ok <3
be good <3
Thanks sweetheart, it means alot that you're there for me. I'm not feeling too well. I have no idea what's going on but I'm rather frightened by all of it. I've already hurt my girlfriend now and I don't want to hurt my friends. I wish I knew what the hell was going on.
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