Another Day, Another Vision, Ripping My Soul Apart....

It's worse today. After much consideration, my grandma finally agreed to let one of my best friends, Alex, move in. The only problem is...

I can't feel the happiness!!!
There's nothing in there! Not a fucking thing!
I can't feel happiness, I can't feel sadness anymore. I feel like my mind is reverting to living off logic. No more emotion, no more anything.

I don't know if this can be reversed, if it's temporary or what. All I know is that I actually feel like I'm dying on the inside. No more can I even feel my heart beat pulsing blood in my veins. I lay every finger I have on my wrists but there's no beating. I can see my body growing more and more pale every day and I keep hearing those damned noises. Machinery running, people talking, music I've never even fucking heard running all around me. These noises are infiltrating and making home of my ravaged head.

I'm gonna fucking lose it in this stupid place! Not even my most sacred of things, my music, is healing anymore. They're just dead beats, ended notes. There's energy in this body still, but how long till it's gone and I'm left stuck in the dark with no way out?

This happened once before. I started seeing things, what I believed to be spirits. A while back I started sensing things, some of which I believed to be angels, some of which I believed to be demons. I don't know about it though. A very sketchy thing. But my parents were of spiritual descent, leading me to believe that I may have inherited some sort of trait. My grandma and my mother had it, they were of the Sisk side of the family, the side with the traits, so I can easily be left to believe that I've picked up one more of these traits. I already have the ability to sense angels and demons around, but now I can hear spirits too?

I don't think I can handle this kind of situation! I'm already driven to madness from my own childhood, it rotting my mind and corroding it, but now I'm to be haunted and driven even further into my insanity?? This is almost too much. Am I possessed? Am I just losing my mind? What the hell is going on anymore??