Let's begin this story from December, 2010...
My depressions were terrible. I realized that my childhood actually caught up with me and started wreaking havoc on me, disintegrating my hope bit by bit. It really did hurt. But one fateful night "she" appeared.
Driving home from town, heading through the frost coated forest, the full moon was out and I could see it through the sunroof of the car. It was just entrancing. I stared at it until I was forced to change my sight to look over to the right out of the window. I was sitting behind the driver's seat (left seat in the back) and when I looked out to gaze at the moon again, I saw her. A young girl, about my age, with long brown hair and some hairclips in them. She wore a white dress, and her skin radiated a healing aura. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. She just looked at me and smiled warmly while I gazed at her rather than the moon, all the while asking myself "WTF????". I blinked my eyes a few times and she was still there, smiling warmly. Seconds later she disappeared but when I thought about it, I didn't dare say a word to my parents. I kept this to myself and just forgot about the whole thing, even though the image of that cute young girl burned right into my head forever. I still can see her angellic face smiling at me to this very day.
Still, my depression remained, and so did my guardian angel whose name I didn't even know. More stories from here...
Sitting down at my makeshift desk made from TV trays sitting in front of my 62-inch plasma screen, my laptop on the right-most tray playing my music while I listened off my headphones. Casually playing games, I noticed that the heater fell apart on me. Stupid thing couldn't keep plugged in anymore. Naturally, me forced to thrive off of HEAT, I was pissed. It was probably the middle of effin winter too, near the middle of December. Freezing my ass off and my fingers turning numb while I played, I felt her hands wrap around me while I sat at my chair, now dazed and confused. They were so warm! It was like she was standing right behind me while I sat and just stood there warming my whole entire body, mind, and soul. I was terrified and at peace at the same time, still trying to discern what the hell was going on. Those hands left after a few minutes and I was in an absolute panic. Hyperventilating and trying to calm myself, I let the whole thing go. I couldn't shrug off that one so I just accepted it and move on.
Later that exact same week, I sat on my couch playing my keyboard. Conjuring up my newest melody that I had been working on for a while, I felt those hands again but they just rested on my shoulders and even with my headphones on, I could hear her say right in my ear...
"You're very good..."
I didn't panic this time. I knew something was going on but I was getting used to it. She didn't mean harm so I had no reason to be afraid. Once the hands were gone, I looked into the whole subject on angels. I researched for a night or two, interested by the whole thought of actually having a guardian angel.
Last story...
Occasionally I felt her presence pass by me. I figured out that with my parents being of mystic decent, I learned of my "ability" and accepted it out of interest. That had me looking even further into the subject. Well, up in my attic or as some know it, my sanctuary, I played my keyboard up there thinking about doing some sound tests for my camera to get the pitch to work on it. Before video taping, the power went out for a few seconds. First words out of my mouth: "Aww...shit....here we go again..." The power had been going out due to power lines freezing and shattering to pieces cause of the cold. The power came back on and there she sat next to me, smiling again. I was mystified, turned my head back to my keyboard and tried to relax myself. I knew she wasn't an evil spirit here to hurt me or scare the holy shit out of me. I felt her wrap her arms around me again and she rested her head on my shoulder, still sitting next to me. I knew I was either completely delusional from the cold or actually seeing an angel. I still have my doubts, but not anymore. She let go and disappeared, and I haven't seen her til lately.
As from my other blog posts, I have clearly been going through my depressions again. I haven't been feeling well at all. So here's the most recent update from "Angel"
Sitting in my computer chair, I had my music playing from my Xbox and had my Triton headset on just listening my music while I woke myself up. I went to bed early and woke up early, about 4:00 in the morning. It's about 7:00 now though. I had my glass of tea and felt a slight chill in the air from grandma turning the heat down. I turned up the heat cause the nights got very cold. I sat back down after fussing with the temperature and checked the blog and Facebook when I felt a very thick cloud of cold air hit my shoulder. At first I thought to myself: "Grandma if you have that fuckin fan on again..."
That damn fan wasn't moving...
I looked back at my computer and I felt her put her arm on my left shoulder and she wrapped the other arm around me and lay it on my right shoulder. It almost felt like she was trying to pull me toward her. I started tearing up, not crying from fear, but tears of joy. I still listened to my music and it started coming back to life again. I could really start enjoying my music again! I could feel everything again, my feelings finally returned. I feel happy again, finally happy. I'll be recording every single instance I sense my guardian angel from now on, but for now I'm going to sit back and relax.
But even though this happiness is here now, how long will it last before I need my guardian angel again? This war isn't over yet, the war of darkness. I can still feel the depression trying to eat at me...
Sadest part though...
I still have no fucking clue who she even is yet!!!
For now I'll just call her Angel....
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