Voltage of Harmony

Voltage of Harmony

By: Cory L.W. Clark

Such divinity comes only once in a life

I feel that surge coursing through

Cleansing the blood and the wounds

But restarting the machine

It started again, but it’s not what it once was

The arcs of true power

I feel it running around

Circulating again and again

I’m alive once more

But is this truly being alive?

Perhaps logic and emotion melded together

This machine isn’t the same anymore

V2.0

I live off the thrill, the electricity of life

It sparks and vibrates

Sending shockwaves down my spine

That fated moment when that frozen thunder

Came alive and surged in my veins

I could feel dark pulses reinvigorating

Igniting the engine of destruction

Letting loose bolts of salvation

Rekindling the life-force within

I can’t stop it and I don’t want it to

The true reason to life

Is the voltage of the purest harmony

This amperage of life isn’t as real as a soul

But it’s enough to start me again

To let me move again

Let the dark current flow inside

It feeds me, let’s me live

I won’t forsake my second chance

I’ll live off the wattage

The voltage

Again I’ll live and this time

I’m going to make a difference

I’m not shutting down anytime soon

So I’m going to enjoy every single minute

Of this raw current of life.

Time to live it up

No fears, no regrets, no remorse

Just 100% raw energy

And enough battery power to last a lifetime

(\ ==Reaver== /)

Syndicate of Acid Tears

Syndicate of Acid Tears

By: Cory L.W. Clark

A play on words this broken symphony

Thinking what once used to be

Keeps telling them all to forget me

Cause they’re all blind and never see

The torture, pain, and agony

That all mistake as a melody

A grand lie that I intend to keep

My mind this play pretends to reap

Crushed dreams and dead hopes begin to seep

Forcing this mind to sink ever so deep

Start to see shadows that endlessly creep

In my head the shades dance and leap

Up above there’s a glimpse of light

Not quite out of sight

But it taunts me in my blight

I can’t even gain the urge to fight

Just stare at the light up in height

Laughing at my lack of might

Despair has sapped me dry

No longer can I even try

But rather lie down and die

Dark light floods my eye

Jet-black darkness I live by

In a pool of dark blood I lie

The light never wanted to pull me out

Just tease and torment me with doubt

Kill this black mind with fears

Rain a syndicate of acid tears

Kill off the rest of this broken mind

Kill off the rest of this dead heart

Drain my blood and leave me dead

Cause only darkness is left in this head

The Soul Of A Gamer, Minds in Control With Hearts Holding The Controller

Alot has happened these past few days. I've lost myself and found it again. There was a path I was meant to follow. I had lost sight of that path for a while and I was lost completely. I had forgotten where my land was. Throughout the days a dear friend of mine has helped remind me of what I live and die for. I've forgotten what I had loved. My games, my cherished life. I forgot it.

Seeing where others failed, reminds me of where I had succeeded. My passion, desire, hopes, dreams, achievements; they all lie within that digital world made by the imaginations of those with vivid minds and the desire to create. You see, when I first started gaming, I believe myself to be enchanted by the spirit of gaming. I saw what it truly meant to play. My young mind was exposed to everything and every unreal thing. It helped me grow as a gamer. A true one at that.

These past few days I've forgotten those roots of mine. I had become a slave to the very thing I worshipped. That was my mistake.

A very good friend helped me see what I loved about gaming. Not directly though, but through my own eyes. I remember back when games used to be a portal to another world. A sight unseen but experienced like a dream. Back when I took the role given by the game and explored the lands set before me. I truly cherished my experiences in these "dreams". There were goals to meet, creatures to conquer, adventures to be had. It was a true experience and a beloved one that I left behind for the terrible reasons. I remember now what it means to game, as a real gamer. It matters not who you meet in these worlds, matters not whether you have fun or not, what truly matters is that you get all you can from this wonderful experience. That you experience the game as it was meant to be experienced. As another adventure to be had, another different perspective of life, and a meaning behind pushing those buttons.

And there's more to it. Playing a game on easy is fun and all, but it takes away the true experience of immersing yourself into the game. When you try your hardest to achieve that immersion the game becomes worth even more. You achieve more in the end for the harder you try. You get to play the game as it was meant to be played. People take the wrong paths, letting other's breeze them through the achievements that aren't really even achievements if they aren't made yourself. The memories, the game. It's all lost when you don't take the time to appreciate and put yourself into the game. Don't let an easier path choose where you want to go. That will ruin the experience you could be having if you take the longer route and enjoy what's true in the game. Competition and wrongful emotions have also clouded the minds of what could be fulfilled gamers. Jealousy, hate, desire, greed, anger...

They all come from that desire of superiority. That wrongful need to be better than everyone else. That isn't what the game is meant to be about, you don't HAVE to be better. That desire to be above everyone else takes you away from the enjoyment of the game and what really matters inside it. Alot of people have forgotten all this. I find it hard to relate to any gamer anymore. They're either too casual or too hardcore. They aren't playing the game as it should be played. What they should be focusing on is what lies within. The worlds, the quests, the people, the creatures. They're all part of something more. They belong to a world created for you to enter. And as of now, people are wandering around aimlessly inside or straying to the wrong paths. What you should be seeing, is the lines layed out for you to see clearly. The path that will bring the most out of the game. Your achievements are only significant if you worked hard WITH the GAME . Not with other people and not blindly skipping through the interest of what's imagined as a new life. In the real world, you see all that appears before you. You can't expect life to hand you everything that you need and want. You can't skip through conversations with the other characters in your real life. You EXPERIENCE what is meant to be experienced through the life your set to follow and see. That's what the game is meant to do. To bring you new viewpoints and sights for you to see, to live another life that's built for you.

And through these days I've also sinned another way towards gaming. Selectivity. It's good to call a game your sacred sanctuary, but there is in fact a whole world out there. Sure you can always return to your sanctuary, but remember here that there's more to be had here in gaming. I've stayed too long on my holy grounds and forgot what it means to explore and see all the different adventures out there still waiting to be seen. See the gaming world for what it is, not just what you see now, or you will be blind for a while to come. As a veteran and follower of the gaming world, I've seen the sights, been to places known and unknown and truly SEEN this majestic and wonderful universe. You see with what's in mind, not what appears on screen.

I may sound like a nerd, I am and I'm proud of it. Regardless of who I am, my voice is still here and my opinion is still made. I may be getting carried away with what some see as a simple past-time, but for me, gaming is a lifestyle, a philosophy, and a belief. There's much to be seen, heard, and done in these worlds, so why hold yourself back from that? I ask you now...all of you gamers who read this...

Casual gamers, step it up a notch and truly experience the game that's there to be played. Make your progress, make your life in this world, reach your true potential, and truly make something of what you should and CAN in the gaming universe

Hardcore gamers, step down from your "holy pedastals" and see what the games truly about. Superiority makes fools of those who let it fool them. Your so-called dedication is leading you away from the game. This world was not set here for you to conquer, but for you to live in.

This is my statement, my point. For I believe that I have been blessed by the spirit of gaming to see true these wonders of the imagination. You may say otherwise, you may call me a fool, you can look to me like I'm crazy, but I don't care. I belive in my lifestyle and what I hold dear and I hope that fellow gamers can see and understand what I put out for you all to see. For this is my life, a life in the gaming world...

Blood In The Machine

Blood in the Machine

By Cory L.W. Clark

Two sides but only one will win

Clash and clutter again and again

Machines fail and blood spills

The fog of war set’s straight the kills

Thrive off family or seek independence

Corrupted with light ever since

I sought these wings I hold dear

Now turn to steel to craft my fear

A mind corrupted with glyphs

Pistons urge and the brain shifts

Logic gives the machine life

But blood causes more strife

Bound to a fleshy shell

This machine sees as hell

It begs release from mortal chains

But empty dreams are all that remains

Love and care stop the gears cold

System failure is what I’m told

Seeing my brain stopped dead

By what that love said

Makes me wonder what path to take

Which ethics are mine and which are fake?

I question over and over

If there’s perhaps something more

Something I just don’t see

The one thing that might set me free

A machine with no power makes no effort

Let’s itself rust and fall apart

So what is it that might turn it on?

Awaken the senses to a new dawn

Revolution comes to those that seek

It’s needed most when times are bleak

But what changes and what stays the same?

What’s left to run wild and what is to tame?

What all will I learn

While I wait for the power to return

What all will I be able to find

While cold logic reboots the mind

I’ll set aside what’s bad and good

And just do what I think I should

To get this mind back on track

Before my mind suffers another attack

This machine will drift through space…for now…

Hall of Crying Angels

The Hall of Crying Angels

By Cory L.W.Clark

I find myself again at the Hall of Dead Friends

Hoping to find answers in the remnants of what once was

The ceiling collapsed just as my past was

The sun shines a false hope, shining light on the dead

All the mirrors down this hall cracked and failed

Reminding me of my darkened past

Trees of dismay grow shattered vines that cover the floor

I see the mirror of myself no more

So what is there left to judge of myself?

My hall is wrecked, what I saw is gone

Just a fragment of what this broken mind once saw

Staring at the sky I see a mystic yellow

Like the suns false hope has bled a deep wound

Out into the sky that shines upon my broken hall

I look forward to see that grand mirror at the end

So many scars pollute the surface of this mirror

Though it has yet to loose it's shine and shimmer

My angel inside....

She's crying....

So should I cry with her?

I pick up the remnants for one last try

To make my angel stop crying

Her tears are burning worse than any inferno

But it seems that all these pieces of failed friends

None of them seem to fit

I can't make her stop crying, I can't fix her broken heart

A heart that is apparently my own

All these shards I pick up etch names into my arm

These markings bleed out a darkened blood

Again and again I'm reminded of what once was

These vines of hate cover up the parts that could help save her

They trap and hide all the shards that fit the grand angel

Nature takes it's course for the worst

Killing me to fuel itself, make me suffer so it can live

It siphons every last drop of hope and faith I have left

Those guillotines that resided above have shifted

Making a cage above me, no longer offering death

But instead trapping me inside to suffer

They trap me inside with these memories

Shrieks ended far from gone and still ringing inside

They'll always be here, no matter what

I'll always find myself in this same hall, begging for it's destruction

Even in ruins it brings me back to see what lies inside

All of it now masked by nature taking it's course

And taking away what I need most

I rest my hand on the mirrors that once shined

They bleed rather than me, crying to me

Soon I see all my mirrors, faded angels of my mind

Shining a faded glimpse of the friends that died

Parts of them are gone but what's left reminds me

Of a world that I once called my home

Standing back now to see all of them bright again

I hear the celestial whispers, their words of wind

Telling me that my time here will last

But I'll have these angels of my friends here

To help me fix the grand angel and see her smile again

One day this angel will smile again

But will I smile with her or will I be crying over my scars?

I look down to see the mirror on the floor look back

I see no longer the sight of myself

But a hooded figure looking back at me with steel wings

The scythe he holds beckons for me

Telling me that it's protection is mine

A man controlled by that he holds dear

Yeah...that's what I see, that's myself soon

Or maybe that was me all along?

Ghosts of my past guide my footsteps, every thought and emotion

Ruled by these mirrors strangled by vines

These trees of rage loom over me

But the smiles of angels long past

Make an aura of light that push out the shadows

The shadows made by these hateful trees

While I rebuild my hope, make my angel happy again

I will listen to voices of my past

The past that I thought had always hurt me

I come back here in hopes of lifting the fog

To find the answers glowing in strange glyphs on the walls

Those strange letters, my once infamous ethics

Other's before myself.....

Why did I forget that?

These things that guided me, my past I left

I can't believe the future of hate has left me so blind

Maybe I do belong in the past?

Or perhaps my present is what makes them both what they are?

A blend of demons and angels together

Create perfect harmony

But it's only harmony when I hear it that way

Put these symphonies of whispers and shrieks together

Add a blend of my echoes and make a melody

See the things I forgot come back in my song of salvation

Vines...the chains holding my friends

Trees....the hate clouding their angels

Sky....the true bleeding heart

Maybe nature can purge the corruption

What to do to free my friends and save my angel?

It seems impossible, but with my angels here...

I can move on, but only if they stay

For now, all I can do...

Is tell my angel that it'll all be alright

Look down and see my hooded reaper

Reminding me of what I fight for

The angels of my friends will push out their chains

Knowing their angels will guide me further

I'll piece back together the mirror of my angel

This hall of dead friends

Is now the hall of crying angels

Let me dry your tears dearest angels

Let me end your torment

Put you all back together to make a bright home

The grand mirror of my angel

Will someday hold that sweet young girl I seek

The love I have will not be in vain

If I have an army of angels pushing me on

Live on for me Angie, I'm here for you

Even if I need it the most....

Failure and Remiss of the Dead

Why do I keep failing the way I do? What is causing this light at the end of the tunnel to fade? Every light fades...even from those that don't deserve it. I suffered for you, I cared for you, and even when I'm close to death you betray me. I hate friends I hate them. I knew I'd be left, even by the closest light. Again I'm alone, I was born alone, raised alone, and now...I will die alone. I'm tempted to end it all. There's a reason why I hold my blades so confidently...

Cause I know..that I can turn it to myself whenever I want....and feel no regret in the end...

Shameful Downfall of the Strong

I'm done with the poetry right now, I'm just going to outright speak my mind and let off everything wrong that's building up. I've failed again. Not only did I let my depression take control and destroy myself, but now my weak and fragile mind is begging for help. I feel so ashamed! I'm letting everything fall apart, I'm letting my strength fall. Where went the days of being the everpowerful tank? Where went the days of letting everything hit hardest and bounce off? Now I watch others suffer without a word spoken. What's wrong with me?? Why am I leaving behind my ethics?? I know where I'm going but why am I running the other way? I'm failing my duty, I'm failing the ones I've held dear and just made a fool of myself asking for help. Punishment will be due!! I will force myself deeper into the depths of my studies of pain and suffering, I'll shall make my torment two-fold to make up for this arrogance! I will do every last thing I can, as a fallen angel seeking forgiveness from itself, and fix where I have failed.I won't give in, I won't submit, and I will make better this slipping mind!Forgive my actions friends, forgive where I have failed you, I won't give in again!!

Frozen Fears

Frozen Fears

By: Cory L.W.Clark

A hand that courses no blood

A heart that feels no pulse

Skin white as an angel's wing

Dead inside

Ended mind

NO spark of life

NO will to live

Only a future as grim as death

The hopeful speeches of the cherished

Are snow piling in my heart

Chilling the vains and blood

Leaving the heart cold and blue

Frozen still is this body

But why does it still move on?

Frost covers my arms

A sheet of an ice over my heart

A soul, colder than glaciers

Stopped cold

Torn and old

NO feeling left

NO thoughts remain

Just a frozen shell of the ended

Tear at the skin

Blood frozen cannot spill

Tainted inside, it builds

No escaping the cage

Trapped forever in a still body

That which kills remains inside

Screams that never leave tainted lips

Memories that never leave this mind

A heart, frozen like time itself

Eternal night

Chilling fright

NO warming the chill

NO reviving the dead...

Just leave this shell forever dead

An end like no other

To be frozen stiff and left for dead

Not even the hellfire can heal

Nothing brings back the dead

A ghost can only accept it's fate

For it knows it well

But my ghost hasn't left yet

It's still here inside, suffering

But it's still as cold

Just as if it left

So is it there or not?

What does it matter anyways...

My body's numb

My blood is frozen

My heart is so cold

NO more light

NO more life

No more life.....

It's so cold.....

So very cold.....

Fight for An Endless Facade

Fighting for An Endless Facade

By: Cory L.W. Clark

A hand for a hand unites the world

But if a hand isn't there

The chain falls in failure

Intended or not

You're breaking and unmaking

What do you see?

What do you think?

Question your motives

Look at your progress

See where you fail

Or where you thought you succeeded

Look at the wounds healed

Or at the scars you've made

Make better?

Or make it worse?

Think of where you lie

Where do you think you're going?

Either dig yourself a new grave

Or make a home in the one you're in

~Think instead of die~

You can't unmake pain

You can only make more

Either make new tactics

Or fail forevermore

~Help instead of lie~

A ghost can't offer a helping hand

The dead offer no hope

But when the living beg for forgiveness

Noone sheds them a tear

Till they join our ranks

Stay dead?

Or come alive?

Don't beg for what you don't deserve

If you take back what you said you had

Don't offer a hand to help

If all you do is fail

You'll kill with those ended words

Don't say what you can't do

Seek the truth?

Or rot in lies?

Trick the ones you hold dear

Convert them to your syndicate

Lead the innocent

Into a blood bathed trap

~Cure instead of shred~

You made your mess the way you wanted

You clean or rot

Live with the life you made

Whether you like it or not

~Come out of the where you've fled~

A mind that offered it's corruption

For those still sacred inside

Followed it's ill intent

No hope lies in it's bloody seduction

Just memories of all that died

Not even a chance to repent

Once you follow death

He'll show you hell

But even the infernal

Can change it's tone

Instead of a convoy to doom

It can craft true hope

But only if it sheds it's skin

To reveal what truly lies within

~Save instead of end~

Think not with your blackened mind

But with a heart that still bathes in light

And the more you lead to hope

The more that live to fight

~Kill your enemy not your friend~

Only chaos and ruin comes

When you fight for an endless facade...

Sonic Armor

Sonic Armor

By: Cory L.W.Clark

What to do when the hearts in pain

Broken and tore from mortal blows

Find a haven in another form

Not a shortcut, not another false hope

A place where I'm always warm

Secure my pain

And extinguish it from the inside

The sonic melodies I shove in my ear

Let the rhythm surround my mind

Encompass, encircle, enclose

In a home made from the sound

I've made home bass

Brutal beats and driving pulses

Push out the cold depression

With warming vibration

Comfort like no other

Charges from supreme symphonies

Invigorate and regenerate

I'm always seeking to make better

The home bass I've made

The monsters I've got trapped on my ears

Their my holy rooms, my sanctuaries

No matter the make, no matter the label

A home's a home and it can always get better

Fabrics spun to mimic a room

Electically charged

Pumped and Primed

Ready to blast the beats

And take me away

Take me to home bass

A home where I'm never disturbed

I'm always welcome

They never shun me or walk away

Their always here and here to stay

Their like a perfect friend

More than just a friend...

Their a part of me

A part of me I never want to let go

Keep loving the bass that drives me on

Forever let the beat move and liberate

Cause when the world tears up the mind

I'll always have a home to come back to

Wrap myself in sheath of echoes

Let the pitch-perfect harmony in

Remove the taint in my soul

And heal a broken heart

I feel at home in my bass

It will always bring me the comfort I seek

Warm me in the darkest cold

Keep me safe inside my home bass

And forever protect me

In my sonic armor

Bloodbound Mirror of the Eclipse

Bloodbound Mirror of the Eclipse

By: Cory L.W. Clark

Crawling along these halls

Tainted by blood still boiling

Watch painful shadows

Evaporate into the mist

I still shift through

Empty my pain

Make me sane

End the rain

On my knees I lay

Seeking a dead hope

Eclipsed by corruption

Spewing blood from cursed lips

Forever dyed red from the taint

Letters of blood dead

Hate they all read

Pain they all said

My end lies at the mirror at the end

Insanity's prevailing over a broken mind

Watching the shadows laugh

At my failing life

While they purge my light

Pain seen before

Skin once again tore

Clean no more

The haze of the eclipse

A blood red moon

Shines down to this demon's hall

The hall of my very mind

Screaming to me of my shredded fate

I can't hold on

I can't keep on

These letters written on the wall

The darkness shifting in the mist

They remind me of so much

That past I though I lost

Scattered bodies of the forgotten

Scattered blood I've leaked

Shadows of what lurks in me

A hall reflected from the eclipse

Of the bloody moon above

It's a mirror of my very own mind

All the dark, dead, corruption

The pain, loneliness, the hate

It's so real, so easy to see

A blood mist mirror....

Skin cold and crawling

Shifting to my armor

Stained and sheathed in painful black

The blackness in control

To lead me through the dementia

Muffle the sounds of my madness

In my agony clad helm

Block my inside from the shadows

Eternal home of a black body

Safety in the black cold

Dead inside

Nowhere to hide

But within my mind

They try to kill

Their screams so shrill

Fear it will instill

Ripping my mind apart

Paranoid of the shadows

That shift and hide in this mist

Blind I flee from this

To find a light somewhere

A hand reaching out

To this black knight

And save me from myself

Blood dawn

Strike true

On my mind

Hellsent moon

Insane Twilight

Bloody mirror

Reveal what corruption plagues my mind

With the Bloodbound Mirror of the Eclipse...

Divine Angels of War

Divine Angels of War

By: Cory L.W. Clark

Hearing their screams

When the damned arrive

Demanding flesh and blood

Seeking all that survive

Slay the innocent

Hunt the light

Decimate everything

Kill everything in sight

Bleeding

They crawl

Dying

They scream

For mercy from the wrong creatures

Destroying

They brawl

Crushing

They teem

Riding on jet-black wings of steel

An ending call

Final scream for mercy

To the angels above

Their end they forsee

White hope brought down

From the blackened skies

One last chance left

Before everyone dies

Crying

They crawl

Begging

They scream

For mercy from the hellsent doombringers

Reaping

They brawl

Killing

They teem

With thoughts of unmaking life

Weapons of war

Weapons of god

Drop from the heavens to defend

Ending the pain

Ending the rain

The war angels He will send

No angels complete

Without a little blood on the wings

Celestial bloodwreathers

Beserk angels wreck the hellspawn

Decimate the forces!

Crush the demons!

Once your land is clear

These angels of war

Will vanish from sight

Defending the earth evermore

Hope

They pray

Faith

They sing

Even the sacred must be bloodied once

Angels

They say

Salvation

They bring

Angels show the damned no mercy

Angels of death

Rain celestial fury

Over the damned!

Blood coated angels

Innocent as any other

But fight for the light

Fight for the divine right

Cleanse any demon in sight!

Angels kill

But for all the right reasons

Memories of A Dead Man Still Alive

By: Cory L.W. Clark

A memories what's remembered

It's what still remains

But what makes it stay?

Or a better question...

Is it strong enough to stay?

Tag the minds I've afflicted

What do you remember of me?

No matter my mark

My mark never stays

Someone break this chain of failure!

Lie to me of false hope

Tell this memory of a dead man

To stay within forever

But what point is there

To remember the dead?

You're visits to me

Are like tears over my tomb

Watching the pain flow

Over my grave

Every day...

Force their words away

Blessings I don't deserve

You come forth again

To share me your tears

Spare this soul the pain!

Watching you care for me

A death grip on a dead corpse

Begging for it to live again

You're prayers are in vain

I'm dead, there's no changing that...

My soul wanders from it's grave

Many wonder where it went

Why does it not come back?

Why does it not accept the faith they offer?

Just forget about me!

Memories you think are chained

Flow away easier than you thought

False words offer a home in your heart

Because you know your mind's too weak

To remember me....

I, as a member to the dead faction

Chose to break my earthly ties

Because my memory won't last forever

It's an inevitable curse

Memories drift away....

How dare you say you'll always be there?

How dare you lie to me?

I hope you all forget about this dead man

I'd rather be left in the past

Than be forsaken in the future...

When I can see our ties breaking

Our chains suffer because of me

I choose to break them

Before they choke us both

Grief, pain, haunting....

Granite etchings of an ended mortal

Tombs are like memories

They should just be left alone

Forgotten about

Cause all they make is pain...

Even the ones held dearest

Should be left behind

If they don't exist

Why should their memories?

Why hold onto a broken chain?

This soul will drift alone

You can't heal the dead

You can't mend eternal scars

I want you to let go

Don't suffer to keep a memory of me...

Quit crying over my grave

Let go of what's left of me

Leave this kindred soul

Forget this memory

I'm gonna be forgotten about....

I'm gonna be left in the end....

Why suffer later....

For what can be ended now...

Tis the end of my sorrowful memories.....

Fallen Angel's Dreams of Faith

By: Cory L.W. Clark

The almighty angel

Symbol of Hope

Lightbringers

Godsent hope

But when the faith

Of the eternally loyal

Fades away to dark

And there's no stopping it

An angel falls from heaven...

That spirit that fell

The energy, life..

Everything that angel was

Must go somewhere

The angel's not corrupt

Not defective, not wretched

It's just a little lost

But how will it be found?

In the bodies of the mortal

Trading infinite knowledge

And everclear guidance

For flesh and failure

Bones and blood

Make a shelter of my body

Poor little angel

You're welcome to stay with me

Young was this accursed soul

Consumed by greed and hate

A past that crippled me

Til I was taken away by the angel

She stays within

Guiding my ravaged mind back

In exchange for a place to stay

Remain with me, guide me

Make the best of what's here

It may not be heaven

But heaven is what you make it

This angel's made paradise

Within this broken home

Making everything inside

Warm and bright again

Happy and peaceful

Take my mind

I give you control

Fix me angel, help me

So that now

I may think in enlightenment

Now this kindred soul

Has an angel in control

Turning me into what it makes me

Now I too am an angel

Seeing clear and bright again

I see light in the dark

Thanks to my little angel inside

She gives life to my dead body

She holds my hand in the dark

And tells me that everything will be fine

And I can't thank her enough...

She says she doesn't want heaven anymore

She doesn't want to go home

She wants to stay here with me

Little broken me

I can't give her anything in thanks

But she says she doesn't want anything

Other than to be with me

And to love me

This angel inside

She still stays within me

She gives me bright wings to fly with

And a light to hold on to

I'll love my angel forever

And let her show me better times

Act with the will of the angel within

I am now that of the angel inside

Angelic spirit and a forsaken body

Hand in hand we walk

Leaving light in our wake

Making the best of our ruins

And making the best of our lives

And once this body fails....

My angel will come with me

Back to heaven, guiding me

But I still have time to spend

In this world with my angel

So let's continue on my love

I'll continue on with my angel

I'll give her a home

And she'll give me her love

We are happy now

Despite our tragedies

Celestial resurgence

Divine ascention

With my angel inside

I will walk forward

With faith and hope

Never forgetting

Of my guardian

Of my one and only angel!

Guide me my love.....

Show me heaven....

Undeserved Ruination...

Even though I hate my depression and wish to be rid of it, it'll always be here. Even when I don't feel it, it'll always be there, so when it does come up inside, I'll let it out in my usual poetry. I don't mind it coming back, so long as it's properly ventilated and doesn't stay too long. Enjoy my latest works and check out some of my other poems down below too. I do believe I'm slowly getting better at this....



Undeserved Ruination...

By Cory L.W. Clark

How much pain can one man take?

How long can the strongest will hold?

The pain rips and tears, leaving ruin in it's wake

This is life for you, for that is what I'm told

I watched in horror of the hell my parents saw

Never thinking my fate to be the same so soon

But alas is my future, a pain harvested so raw

My tears as blank and white as the midnight moon

I plead for the mercy I do so deserve

But get my torture thrown back ten-fold

My fading hope is becoming hard to preserve

Wearing down my mind, leaving my body cold

Nobody realizes how hurt and lonely I am

Nor does anyone really care

Nobody really gives a damn

I've come to see that help is rare

Everyone finds their lives so easy

Moving on without the suffering

And look at my life with pity

And see what a hard life can truly bring

Sorrow and despair like no other

A nightmare you can't even comprehend

Forever trapped in a broken Aether

Stuck with a broken heart none can mend

But you wouldn't know that pain

You wouldn't know the hell I've suffered

In happy days you all remain

You wouldn't know the storms I've endured

You think life's cheer is eternal?

You think things won't go to hell for you?

I've seen a glimpse of the infernal

And seen life, raw and true

Brace yourself for hell

Cause life hits hard and fast

It isn't always all good and well

The glory days don't always last

Get ready for the hell you never saw

In a swirling black mess you're left in

I'll show you this worlds burning law

That life can be very cruel in the end

When you breakdown inside

Just like I have so many times

With nobody left to confide

When you're soul slowly dies

I, still strong and holding

Used to life always feeding me it's worst

Will stand above laughing

Watching you struggle, bleeding and cursed

Your turn to be abused

You were raised weak

You'll die cause you're not used

To seeing your life so bleak

I'll watch you rip yourself apart

Bleed and tear at mortal wounds

But will I be there to dig you out?

Save you from you're god given tomb?

When you've seen true life

When you lose all you hold dear

I'll watch your pain and strife

I'll laugh hardest when that final scream I hear

Maybe if I think you understand

Endure this ethereal grave

If by the end you still stand

You're foolish ass I'll save

Don't misinterpret life's challenge

Don't misjudge this torture anymore

Cause life always has it's revenge

And you'll end up six feet in the floor

In the end you will suffer

You'll be ravaged and tore

Pain you'll have to endure

So mount up and prepare for war

Cause life can be quite a bitch

Angel Returns, Celestial Resurgence

The whole mess happened again.

Let's begin this story from December, 2010...

My depressions were terrible. I realized that my childhood actually caught up with me and started wreaking havoc on me, disintegrating my hope bit by bit. It really did hurt. But one fateful night "she" appeared.

Driving home from town, heading through the frost coated forest, the full moon was out and I could see it through the sunroof of the car. It was just entrancing. I stared at it until I was forced to change my sight to look over to the right out of the window. I was sitting behind the driver's seat (left seat in the back) and when I looked out to gaze at the moon again, I saw her. A young girl, about my age, with long brown hair and some hairclips in them. She wore a white dress, and her skin radiated a healing aura. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. She just looked at me and smiled warmly while I gazed at her rather than the moon, all the while asking myself "WTF????". I blinked my eyes a few times and she was still there, smiling warmly. Seconds later she disappeared but when I thought about it, I didn't dare say a word to my parents. I kept this to myself and just forgot about the whole thing, even though the image of that cute young girl burned right into my head forever. I still can see her angellic face smiling at me to this very day.

Still, my depression remained, and so did my guardian angel whose name I didn't even know. More stories from here...

Sitting down at my makeshift desk made from TV trays sitting in front of my 62-inch plasma screen, my laptop on the right-most tray playing my music while I listened off my headphones. Casually playing games, I noticed that the heater fell apart on me. Stupid thing couldn't keep plugged in anymore. Naturally, me forced to thrive off of HEAT, I was pissed. It was probably the middle of effin winter too, near the middle of December. Freezing my ass off and my fingers turning numb while I played, I felt her hands wrap around me while I sat at my chair, now dazed and confused. They were so warm! It was like she was standing right behind me while I sat and just stood there warming my whole entire body, mind, and soul. I was terrified and at peace at the same time, still trying to discern what the hell was going on. Those hands left after a few minutes and I was in an absolute panic. Hyperventilating and trying to calm myself, I let the whole thing go. I couldn't shrug off that one so I just accepted it and move on.

Later that exact same week, I sat on my couch playing my keyboard. Conjuring up my newest melody that I had been working on for a while, I felt those hands again but they just rested on my shoulders and even with my headphones on, I could hear her say right in my ear...

"You're very good..."

I didn't panic this time. I knew something was going on but I was getting used to it. She didn't mean harm so I had no reason to be afraid. Once the hands were gone, I looked into the whole subject on angels. I researched for a night or two, interested by the whole thought of actually having a guardian angel.

Last story...

Occasionally I felt her presence pass by me. I figured out that with my parents being of mystic decent, I learned of my "ability" and accepted it out of interest. That had me looking even further into the subject. Well, up in my attic or as some know it, my sanctuary, I played my keyboard up there thinking about doing some sound tests for my camera to get the pitch to work on it. Before video taping, the power went out for a few seconds. First words out of my mouth: "Aww...shit....here we go again..." The power had been going out due to power lines freezing and shattering to pieces cause of the cold. The power came back on and there she sat next to me, smiling again. I was mystified, turned my head back to my keyboard and tried to relax myself. I knew she wasn't an evil spirit here to hurt me or scare the holy shit out of me. I felt her wrap her arms around me again and she rested her head on my shoulder, still sitting next to me. I knew I was either completely delusional from the cold or actually seeing an angel. I still have my doubts, but not anymore. She let go and disappeared, and I haven't seen her til lately.

As from my other blog posts, I have clearly been going through my depressions again. I haven't been feeling well at all. So here's the most recent update from "Angel"

Sitting in my computer chair, I had my music playing from my Xbox and had my Triton headset on just listening my music while I woke myself up. I went to bed early and woke up early, about 4:00 in the morning. It's about 7:00 now though. I had my glass of tea and felt a slight chill in the air from grandma turning the heat down. I turned up the heat cause the nights got very cold. I sat back down after fussing with the temperature and checked the blog and Facebook when I felt a very thick cloud of cold air hit my shoulder. At first I thought to myself: "Grandma if you have that fuckin fan on again..."

That damn fan wasn't moving...

I looked back at my computer and I felt her put her arm on my left shoulder and she wrapped the other arm around me and lay it on my right shoulder. It almost felt like she was trying to pull me toward her. I started tearing up, not crying from fear, but tears of joy. I still listened to my music and it started coming back to life again. I could really start enjoying my music again! I could feel everything again, my feelings finally returned. I feel happy again, finally happy. I'll be recording every single instance I sense my guardian angel from now on, but for now I'm going to sit back and relax.

But even though this happiness is here now, how long will it last before I need my guardian angel again? This war isn't over yet, the war of darkness. I can still feel the depression trying to eat at me...

Sadest part though...

I still have no fucking clue who she even is yet!!!

For now I'll just call her Angel....

See The End And Feel It Near, Why Keep Going If The Blood Lies Here?

So paranoid and hateful. All my thoughts grow corrupt. I think all the wrong things, things that defy my sacred rules and ethics. But the pain keeps growing. I keep hearing the sounds. All those stupid sounds. I hear things I know aren't here. I'm now talking with people that don't exist. I blabber on to myself without thinking. Talking to myself, cause there's nobody here. I think I'm talking to people, but I know I'm not. Telling myself of all the betrayals, the hate, the fear...

I feel like I should just abandon all my friends and leave them behind. I know I shouldn't, I don't want to, but I feel like I should. Or better yet, let them go on ahead, and let myself be the one left behind. My depressions grow so damn strong. I can't even really think straight anymore. But my stubborness will always keep me from asking for help or accepting it. I want to be alone with my madness for a while. Get to know it and get used to it being here. It'll be the first thing to occupy this home that is my mind.

I'm sorry to those I hurt for being away, I'm sorry to those that wish to see me. But I'll be with my mad state of mind for a while. Maybe I'll come back in a week or a few days, or maybe I'll be gone for months at a time. I don't know how long it's gonna take for me to get used to all the madness and insanity. I don't feel good. I don't feel good at all...

Another Day, Another Vision, Ripping My Soul Apart....

It's worse today. After much consideration, my grandma finally agreed to let one of my best friends, Alex, move in. The only problem is...

I can't feel the happiness!!!
There's nothing in there! Not a fucking thing!
I can't feel happiness, I can't feel sadness anymore. I feel like my mind is reverting to living off logic. No more emotion, no more anything.

I don't know if this can be reversed, if it's temporary or what. All I know is that I actually feel like I'm dying on the inside. No more can I even feel my heart beat pulsing blood in my veins. I lay every finger I have on my wrists but there's no beating. I can see my body growing more and more pale every day and I keep hearing those damned noises. Machinery running, people talking, music I've never even fucking heard running all around me. These noises are infiltrating and making home of my ravaged head.

I'm gonna fucking lose it in this stupid place! Not even my most sacred of things, my music, is healing anymore. They're just dead beats, ended notes. There's energy in this body still, but how long till it's gone and I'm left stuck in the dark with no way out?

This happened once before. I started seeing things, what I believed to be spirits. A while back I started sensing things, some of which I believed to be angels, some of which I believed to be demons. I don't know about it though. A very sketchy thing. But my parents were of spiritual descent, leading me to believe that I may have inherited some sort of trait. My grandma and my mother had it, they were of the Sisk side of the family, the side with the traits, so I can easily be left to believe that I've picked up one more of these traits. I already have the ability to sense angels and demons around, but now I can hear spirits too?

I don't think I can handle this kind of situation! I'm already driven to madness from my own childhood, it rotting my mind and corroding it, but now I'm to be haunted and driven even further into my insanity?? This is almost too much. Am I possessed? Am I just losing my mind? What the hell is going on anymore??

Disruption and Violence

Things are getting bad. I'm pretty sure I'm slowly losing my mind in this place. Last night, I leaving one of my good friends a text telling her I was going to bed. While I was typing though, I heard something. Bells. Like bell bells. Not church bells but bells in a band. They were playing what sounded like a lullaby. I could hear people talking amongst it. I didn't recognize any of the voices but the song sounded kinda familiar. I finished texting and the sounds subsided but it only gets weirder. I started tearing up and almost cried for no reason. I couldn't contain myself, I openly wept for no reason at all. Once I slowed my tears though, I gained a mysterious bloodlust. This was beyond anything any of my depressions spawned before, and truthfully, it terrified me. I needed blood! Even just to see death and chaos would subside the strange beast within. Turning on my Xbox and actually playing it for the first time in weeks, I played Gears of War for about 4 hours. I made it to wave 40 before my fury ended and I could go to bed. Somethings very wrong with me, I don't think the depression stages are doing this anymore, I think I'm actually starting to lose grip of my mind. I hope this doesn't continue, I really don't plan to spend my future in the psycho ward...

Mindset of Corruption

Mindset of Corruption

By Cory L.W. Clark

Everything ends

Sometimes in ravage

~Ruin~

Walking the darkened fields

No fear of seeing this blood on the ground

~Pain~

Every step forward into the moonlight

More blood crawling up my legs

~Death~

Every day brings forth the corruption

Can't keep control

Over my corroded soul

Telling me that which is wrong

Knowing it's false morals and ethics

Forced obedience of dead rules

Tinting my vision

A cold, blood red

~Hate~

Reversing my mind

Resetting my thoughts

~Control~

Open my eyes one last time

To see the world as I know it isn't

~Obedience~

I've been traced, followed

By a reaper's taint

To see the darkness taking over

Sheathing the heart in it's pain

Seeing the world again in blood

Seeing my friends as my enemies

What's dark is light

What's light is dark

~Entropy~

Blood seeping from my clutched hands

The sacred blood what I once held dear

~Chaos~

Seeing the end of my world

Making way for the vision of chaos

~Torment~

Push my blade against the heads of my friends

Seeing their end

For my mind told me to

It isn't what it once was

The only thing remaining

Is a faint memory

Of a light that is no more

Dark echoes of an ended life

Sonic blasts of a dead sight

~Madness~

Seeing what kept me alive

Leaving me behind now

~Abandonment~

Just my dead body walking onwards

Nobody wants to be with the corrupted

~Loneliness~

Beg for my liberation

Set me free from my prison

Blind torture of my ravaged soul

I can't even see my pain anymore

Making my mind weakened

To everything evil and hellish

Jump at the smallest shadows

Seeing creatures unknown, tricks of the mind

~Slaughter~

Cleaving the innocent apart

Not knowing any better anymore

~Fury~

Thinking your intent as black as mine

Ending you before you hurt me

~Panic~

I can't help my urges anymore

Every blind move hurts the beautiful

Ending a perfect world

One blood covered step at a time

Nobody stops this corruption from taking over

Nobody can listen, nobody can live

Let nobody interfere

Let the plague consume

~Weakness~

It devours your innocence

Leaving a hated creature in it's wake

~Corruption~

Another cold, bloody soldier

Left to destroy heaven's land for dark reason

~Savagery~

What once was the heart of the enlightened

Is a heart of dark intent

No reason to demolish a once perfect land

This creature roams without reasoning

No morales left to guide it's dead mind

No friends to call it's own

Shredding apart it's comrades in fear

Afraid of every and all

Be you a friend or an enemy inside

I destroy it all, letting the darkness

Instruct my path of fury

Guide me to what I now see

As a perfect world of my own

Nobody to betray me

Nobody to threaten me

Nobody to hate me

Nobody to kill me

Nobody's left

Just remnants of my fragmented mind

A bloodstained world

I made with my black hands

Out of my fear and paranoia

Now I will walk with my scythe in hand

Venture the fallen land

Seeking any that survived my rage

To forever secure myself

My dead soul, heart, and body

Trapped

In my mindset of corruption

~Armageddon~