Saturday, October 1, 2011

Voltage of Harmony

Voltage of Harmony

By: Cory L.W. Clark



Such divinity comes only once in a life

I feel that surge coursing through

Cleansing the blood and the wounds

But restarting the machine

It started again, but it’s not what it once was

The arcs of true power

I feel it running around

Circulating again and again

I’m alive once more

But is this truly being alive?

Perhaps logic and emotion melded together

This machine isn’t the same anymore

V2.0

I live off the thrill, the electricity of life

It sparks and vibrates

Sending shockwaves down my spine

That fated moment when that frozen thunder

Came alive and surged in my veins

I could feel dark pulses reinvigorating

Igniting the engine of destruction

Letting loose bolts of salvation

Rekindling the life-force within

I can’t stop it and I don’t want it to

The true reason to life

Is the voltage of the purest harmony

This amperage of life isn’t as real as a soul

But it’s enough to start me again

To let me move again

Let the dark current flow inside

It feeds me, let’s me live

I won’t forsake my second chance

I’ll live off the wattage

The voltage

Again I’ll live and this time

I’m going to make a difference

I’m not shutting down anytime soon

So I’m going to enjoy every single minute

Of this raw current of life.

Time to live it up

No fears, no regrets, no remorse

Just 100% raw energy

And enough battery power to last a lifetime

(\ ==Reaver== /)

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Syndicate of Acid Tears

Syndicate of Acid Tears

By: Cory L.W. Clark



A play on words this broken symphony

Thinking what once used to be

Keeps telling them all to forget me

Cause they’re all blind and never see

The torture, pain, and agony

That all mistake as a melody

A grand lie that I intend to keep

My mind this play pretends to reap

Crushed dreams and dead hopes begin to seep

Forcing this mind to sink ever so deep

Start to see shadows that endlessly creep

In my head the shades dance and leap

Up above there’s a glimpse of light

Not quite out of sight

But it taunts me in my blight

I can’t even gain the urge to fight

Just stare at the light up in height

Laughing at my lack of might

Despair has sapped me dry

No longer can I even try

But rather lie down and die

Dark light floods my eye

Jet-black darkness I live by

In a pool of dark blood I lie

The light never wanted to pull me out

Just tease and torment me with doubt

Kill this black mind with fears

Rain a syndicate of acid tears

Kill off the rest of this broken mind

Kill off the rest of this dead heart

Drain my blood and leave me dead

Cause only darkness is left in this head

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

The Soul Of A Gamer, Minds in Control With Hearts Holding The Controller

Alot has happened these past few days. I've lost myself and found it again. There was a path I was meant to follow. I had lost sight of that path for a while and I was lost completely. I had forgotten where my land was. Throughout the days a dear friend of mine has helped remind me of what I live and die for. I've forgotten what I had loved. My games, my cherished life. I forgot it.

Seeing where others failed, reminds me of where I had succeeded. My passion, desire, hopes, dreams, achievements; they all lie within that digital world made by the imaginations of those with vivid minds and the desire to create. You see, when I first started gaming, I believe myself to be enchanted by the spirit of gaming. I saw what it truly meant to play. My young mind was exposed to everything and every unreal thing. It helped me grow as a gamer. A true one at that.

These past few days I've forgotten those roots of mine. I had become a slave to the very thing I worshipped. That was my mistake.

A very good friend helped me see what I loved about gaming. Not directly though, but through my own eyes. I remember back when games used to be a portal to another world. A sight unseen but experienced like a dream. Back when I took the role given by the game and explored the lands set before me. I truly cherished my experiences in these "dreams". There were goals to meet, creatures to conquer, adventures to be had. It was a true experience and a beloved one that I left behind for the terrible reasons. I remember now what it means to game, as a real gamer. It matters not who you meet in these worlds, matters not whether you have fun or not, what truly matters is that you get all you can from this wonderful experience. That you experience the game as it was meant to be experienced. As another adventure to be had, another different perspective of life, and a meaning behind pushing those buttons.

And there's more to it. Playing a game on easy is fun and all, but it takes away the true experience of immersing yourself into the game. When you try your hardest to achieve that immersion the game becomes worth even more. You achieve more in the end for the harder you try. You get to play the game as it was meant to be played. People take the wrong paths, letting other's breeze them through the achievements that aren't really even achievements if they aren't made yourself. The memories, the game. It's all lost when you don't take the time to appreciate and put yourself into the game. Don't let an easier path choose where you want to go. That will ruin the experience you could be having if you take the longer route and enjoy what's true in the game. Competition and wrongful emotions have also clouded the minds of what could be fulfilled gamers. Jealousy, hate, desire, greed, anger...

They all come from that desire of superiority. That wrongful need to be better than everyone else. That isn't what the game is meant to be about, you don't HAVE to be better. That desire to be above everyone else takes you away from the enjoyment of the game and what really matters inside it. Alot of people have forgotten all this. I find it hard to relate to any gamer anymore. They're either too casual or too hardcore. They aren't playing the game as it should be played. What they should be focusing on is what lies within. The worlds, the quests, the people, the creatures. They're all part of something more. They belong to a world created for you to enter. And as of now, people are wandering around aimlessly inside or straying to the wrong paths. What you should be seeing, is the lines layed out for you to see clearly. The path that will bring the most out of the game. Your achievements are only significant if you worked hard WITH the GAME . Not with other people and not blindly skipping through the interest of what's imagined as a new life. In the real world, you see all that appears before you. You can't expect life to hand you everything that you need and want. You can't skip through conversations with the other characters in your real life. You EXPERIENCE what is meant to be experienced through the life your set to follow and see. That's what the game is meant to do. To bring you new viewpoints and sights for you to see, to live another life that's built for you.

And through these days I've also sinned another way towards gaming. Selectivity. It's good to call a game your sacred sanctuary, but there is in fact a whole world out there. Sure you can always return to your sanctuary, but remember here that there's more to be had here in gaming. I've stayed too long on my holy grounds and forgot what it means to explore and see all the different adventures out there still waiting to be seen. See the gaming world for what it is, not just what you see now, or you will be blind for a while to come. As a veteran and follower of the gaming world, I've seen the sights, been to places known and unknown and truly SEEN this majestic and wonderful universe. You see with what's in mind, not what appears on screen.

I may sound like a nerd, I am and I'm proud of it. Regardless of who I am, my voice is still here and my opinion is still made. I may be getting carried away with what some see as a simple past-time, but for me, gaming is a lifestyle, a philosophy, and a belief. There's much to be seen, heard, and done in these worlds, so why hold yourself back from that? I ask you now...all of you gamers who read this...

Casual gamers, step it up a notch and truly experience the game that's there to be played. Make your progress, make your life in this world, reach your true potential, and truly make something of what you should and CAN in the gaming universe

Hardcore gamers, step down from your "holy pedastals" and see what the games truly about. Superiority makes fools of those who let it fool them. Your so-called dedication is leading you away from the game. This world was not set here for you to conquer, but for you to live in.

This is my statement, my point. For I believe that I have been blessed by the spirit of gaming to see true these wonders of the imagination. You may say otherwise, you may call me a fool, you can look to me like I'm crazy, but I don't care. I belive in my lifestyle and what I hold dear and I hope that fellow gamers can see and understand what I put out for you all to see. For this is my life, a life in the gaming world...

Monday, September 5, 2011

Blood In The Machine

Blood in the Machine
By Cory L.W. Clark

Two sides but only one will win
Clash and clutter again and again
Machines fail and blood spills
The fog of war set’s straight the kills
Thrive off family or seek independence
Corrupted with light ever since
I sought these wings I hold dear
Now turn to steel to craft my fear
A mind corrupted with glyphs
Pistons urge and the brain shifts
Logic gives the machine life
But blood causes more strife
Bound to a fleshy shell
This machine sees as hell
It begs release from mortal chains
But empty dreams are all that remains
Love and care stop the gears cold
System failure is what I’m told
Seeing my brain stopped dead
By what that love said
Makes me wonder what path to take
Which ethics are mine and which are fake?
I question over and over
If there’s perhaps something more
Something I just don’t see
The one thing that might set me free
A machine with no power makes no effort
Let’s itself rust and fall apart
So what is it that might turn it on?
Awaken the senses to a new dawn
Revolution comes to those that seek
It’s needed most when times are bleak
But what changes and what stays the same?
What’s left to run wild and what is to tame?
What all will I learn
While I wait for the power to return
What all will I be able to find
While cold logic reboots the mind
I’ll set aside what’s bad and good
And just do what I think I should
To get this mind back on track
Before my mind suffers another attack
This machine will drift through space…for now…

Monday, August 22, 2011

Hall of Crying Angels

The Hall of Crying Angels
By Cory L.W.Clark
I find myself again at the Hall of Dead Friends
Hoping to find answers in the remnants of what once was
The ceiling collapsed just as my past was
The sun shines a false hope, shining light on the dead
All the mirrors down this hall cracked and failed
Reminding me of my darkened past
Trees of dismay grow shattered vines that cover the floor
I see the mirror of myself no more
So what is there left to judge of myself?
My hall is wrecked, what I saw is gone
Just a fragment of what this broken mind once saw
Staring at the sky I see a mystic yellow
Like the suns false hope has bled a deep wound
Out into the sky that shines upon my broken hall
I look forward to see that grand mirror at the end
So many scars pollute the surface of this mirror
Though it has yet to loose it's shine and shimmer
My angel inside....
She's crying....
So should I cry with her?
I pick up the remnants for one last try
To make my angel stop crying
Her tears are burning worse than any inferno
But it seems that all these pieces of failed friends
None of them seem to fit
I can't make her stop crying, I can't fix her broken heart
A heart that is apparently my own
All these shards I pick up etch names into my arm
These markings bleed out a darkened blood
Again and again I'm reminded of what once was
These vines of hate cover up the parts that could help save her
They trap and hide all the shards that fit the grand angel
Nature takes it's course for the worst
Killing me to fuel itself, make me suffer so it can live
It siphons every last drop of hope and faith I have left
Those guillotines that resided above have shifted
Making a cage above me, no longer offering death
But instead trapping me inside to suffer
They trap me inside with these memories
Shrieks ended far from gone and still ringing inside
They'll always be here, no matter what
I'll always find myself in this same hall, begging for it's destruction
Even in ruins it brings me back to see what lies inside
All of it now masked by nature taking it's course
And taking away what I need most
I rest my hand on the mirrors that once shined
They bleed rather than me, crying to me
Soon I see all my mirrors, faded angels of my mind
Shining a faded glimpse of the friends that died
Parts of them are gone but what's left reminds me
Of a world that I once called my home
Standing back now to see all of them bright again
I hear the celestial whispers, their words of wind
Telling me that my time here will last
But I'll have these angels of my friends here
To help me fix the grand angel and see her smile again
One day this angel will smile again
But will I smile with her or will I be crying over my scars?
I look down to see the mirror on the floor look back
I see no longer the sight of myself
But a hooded figure looking back at me with steel wings
The scythe he holds beckons for me
Telling me that it's protection is mine
A man controlled by that he holds dear
Yeah...that's what I see, that's myself soon
Or maybe that was me all along?
Ghosts of my past guide my footsteps, every thought and emotion
Ruled by these mirrors strangled by vines
These trees of rage loom over me
But the smiles of angels long past
Make an aura of light that push out the shadows
The shadows made by these hateful trees
While I rebuild my hope, make my angel happy again
I will listen to voices of my past
The past that I thought had always hurt me
I come back here in hopes of lifting the fog
To find the answers glowing in strange glyphs on the walls
Those strange letters, my once infamous ethics
Other's before myself.....
Why did I forget that?
These things that guided me, my past I left
I can't believe the future of hate has left me so blind
Maybe I do belong in the past?
Or perhaps my present is what makes them both what they are?
A blend of demons and angels together
Create perfect harmony
But it's only harmony when I hear it that way
Put these symphonies of whispers and shrieks together
Add a blend of my echoes and make a melody
See the things I forgot come back in my song of salvation
Vines...the chains holding my friends
Trees....the hate clouding their angels
Sky....the true bleeding heart
Maybe nature can purge the corruption
What to do to free my friends and save my angel?
It seems impossible, but with my angels here...
I can move on, but only if they stay
For now, all I can do...
Is tell my angel that it'll all be alright
Look down and see my hooded reaper
Reminding me of what I fight for
The angels of my friends will push out their chains
Knowing their angels will guide me further
I'll piece back together the mirror of my angel
This hall of dead friends
Is now the hall of crying angels
Let me dry your tears dearest angels
Let me end your torment
Put you all back together to make a bright home
The grand mirror of my angel
Will someday hold that sweet young girl I seek
The love I have will not be in vain
If I have an army of angels pushing me on
Live on for me Angie, I'm here for you
Even if I need it the most....

Friday, July 22, 2011

Failure and Remiss of the Dead

Why do I keep failing the way I do? What is causing this light at the end of the tunnel to fade? Every light fades...even from those that don't deserve it. I suffered for you, I cared for you, and even when I'm close to death you betray me. I hate friends I hate them. I knew I'd be left, even by the closest light. Again I'm alone, I was born alone, raised alone, and now...I will die alone. I'm tempted to end it all. There's a reason why I hold my blades so confidently...

Cause I know..that I can turn it to myself whenever I want....and feel no regret in the end...

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Shameful Downfall of the Strong

I'm done with the poetry right now, I'm just going to outright speak my mind and let off everything wrong that's building up. I've failed again. Not only did I let my depression take control and destroy myself, but now my weak and fragile mind is begging for help. I feel so ashamed! I'm letting everything fall apart, I'm letting my strength fall. Where went the days of being the everpowerful tank? Where went the days of letting everything hit hardest and bounce off? Now I watch others suffer without a word spoken. What's wrong with me?? Why am I leaving behind my ethics?? I know where I'm going but why am I running the other way? I'm failing my duty, I'm failing the ones I've held dear and just made a fool of myself asking for help. Punishment will be due!! I will force myself deeper into the depths of my studies of pain and suffering, I'll shall make my torment two-fold to make up for this arrogance! I will do every last thing I can, as a fallen angel seeking forgiveness from itself, and fix where I have failed.I won't give in, I won't submit, and I will make better this slipping mind!Forgive my actions friends, forgive where I have failed you, I won't give in again!!

Frozen Fears

Frozen Fears
By: Cory L.W.Clark

A hand that courses no blood
A heart that feels no pulse
Skin white as an angel's wing

Dead inside
Ended mind

NO spark of life
NO will to live
Only a future as grim as death

The hopeful speeches of the cherished
Are snow piling in my heart
Chilling the vains and blood
Leaving the heart cold and blue
Frozen still is this body
But why does it still move on?

Frost covers my arms
A sheet of an ice over my heart
A soul, colder than glaciers

Stopped cold
Torn and old

NO feeling left
NO thoughts remain
Just a frozen shell of the ended

Tear at the skin
Blood frozen cannot spill
Tainted inside, it builds
No escaping the cage
Trapped forever in a still body
That which kills remains inside

Screams that never leave tainted lips
Memories that never leave this mind
A heart, frozen like time itself

Eternal night
Chilling fright

NO warming the chill
NO reviving the dead...
Just leave this shell forever dead

An end like no other
To be frozen stiff and left for dead
Not even the hellfire can heal
Nothing brings back the dead
A ghost can only accept it's fate
For it knows it well

But my ghost hasn't left yet
It's still here inside, suffering

But it's still as cold
Just as if it left

So is it there or not?
What does it matter anyways...

My body's numb
My blood is frozen
My heart is so cold

NO more light
NO more life

No more life.....

It's so cold.....
So very cold.....

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Fight for An Endless Facade

Fighting for An Endless Facade
By: Cory L.W. Clark

A hand for a hand unites the world
But if a hand isn't there
The chain falls in failure
Intended or not
You're breaking and unmaking

What do you see?
What do you think?

Question your motives
Look at your progress
See where you fail
Or where you thought you succeeded
Look at the wounds healed
Or at the scars you've made

Make better?
Or make it worse?

Think of where you lie
Where do you think you're going?
Either dig yourself a new grave
Or make a home in the one you're in

~Think instead of die~
You can't unmake pain
You can only make more
Either make new tactics
Or fail forevermore
~Help instead of lie~

A ghost can't offer a helping hand
The dead offer no hope
But when the living beg for forgiveness
Noone sheds them a tear
Till they join our ranks

Stay dead?
Or come alive?

Don't beg for what you don't deserve
If you take back what you said you had
Don't offer a hand to help
If all you do is fail
You'll kill with those ended words
Don't say what you can't do

Seek the truth?
Or rot in lies?

Trick the ones you hold dear
Convert them to your syndicate
Lead the innocent
Into a blood bathed trap

~Cure instead of shred~
You made your mess the way you wanted
You clean or rot
Live with the life you made
Whether you like it or not
~Come out of the where you've fled~

A mind that offered it's corruption
For those still sacred inside
Followed it's ill intent
No hope lies in it's bloody seduction
Just memories of all that died
Not even a chance to repent

Once you follow death
He'll show you hell
But even the infernal
Can change it's tone
Instead of a convoy to doom
It can craft true hope
But only if it sheds it's skin
To reveal what truly lies within

~Save instead of end~
Think not with your blackened mind
But with a heart that still bathes in light
And the more you lead to hope
The more that live to fight
~Kill your enemy not your friend~

Only chaos and ruin comes
When you fight for an endless facade...

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Sonic Armor

Sonic Armor
By: Cory L.W.Clark
What to do when the hearts in pain
Broken and tore from mortal blows
Find a haven in another form
Not a shortcut, not another false hope
A place where I'm always warm
Secure my pain
And extinguish it from the inside
The sonic melodies I shove in my ear
Let the rhythm surround my mind
Encompass, encircle, enclose
In a home made from the sound
I've made home bass
Brutal beats and driving pulses
Push out the cold depression
With warming vibration
Comfort like no other
Charges from supreme symphonies
Invigorate and regenerate
I'm always seeking to make better
The home bass I've made
The monsters I've got trapped on my ears
Their my holy rooms, my sanctuaries
No matter the make, no matter the label
A home's a home and it can always get better
Fabrics spun to mimic a room
Electically charged
Pumped and Primed
Ready to blast the beats
And take me away
Take me to home bass
A home where I'm never disturbed
I'm always welcome
They never shun me or walk away
Their always here and here to stay
Their like a perfect friend
More than just a friend...
Their a part of me
A part of me I never want to let go
Keep loving the bass that drives me on
Forever let the beat move and liberate
Cause when the world tears up the mind
I'll always have a home to come back to
Wrap myself in sheath of echoes
Let the pitch-perfect harmony in
Remove the taint in my soul
And heal a broken heart
I feel at home in my bass
It will always bring me the comfort I seek
Warm me in the darkest cold
Keep me safe inside my home bass
And forever protect me
In my sonic armor

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Bloodbound Mirror of the Eclipse

Bloodbound Mirror of the Eclipse
By: Cory L.W. Clark

Crawling along these halls
Tainted by blood still boiling
Watch painful shadows
Evaporate into the mist
I still shift through

Empty my pain
Make me sane
End the rain

On my knees I lay
Seeking a dead hope
Eclipsed by corruption
Spewing blood from cursed lips
Forever dyed red from the taint

Letters of blood dead
Hate they all read
Pain they all said

My end lies at the mirror at the end
Insanity's prevailing over a broken mind
Watching the shadows laugh
At my failing life
While they purge my light

Pain seen before
Skin once again tore
Clean no more

The haze of the eclipse
A blood red moon
Shines down to this demon's hall
The hall of my very mind
Screaming to me of my shredded fate

I can't hold on
I can't keep on

These letters written on the wall
The darkness shifting in the mist

They remind me of so much
That past I though I lost

Scattered bodies of the forgotten
Scattered blood I've leaked
Shadows of what lurks in me
A hall reflected from the eclipse
Of the bloody moon above

It's a mirror of my very own mind
All the dark, dead, corruption
The pain, loneliness, the hate
It's so real, so easy to see
A blood mist mirror....

Skin cold and crawling
Shifting to my armor
Stained and sheathed in painful black
The blackness in control
To lead me through the dementia

Muffle the sounds of my madness
In my agony clad helm
Block my inside from the shadows
Eternal home of a black body
Safety in the black cold

Dead inside
Nowhere to hide
But within my mind

They try to kill
Their screams so shrill
Fear it will instill

Ripping my mind apart
Paranoid of the shadows
That shift and hide in this mist
Blind I flee from this
To find a light somewhere
A hand reaching out
To this black knight
And save me from myself

Blood dawn
Strike true
On my mind
Hellsent moon
Insane Twilight
Bloody mirror

Reveal what corruption plagues my mind
With the Bloodbound Mirror of the Eclipse...

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Divine Angels of War

Divine Angels of War
By: Cory L.W. Clark
Hearing their screams
When the damned arrive
Demanding flesh and blood
Seeking all that survive

Slay the innocent
Hunt the light
Decimate everything
Kill everything in sight

Bleeding
They crawl
Dying
They scream

For mercy from the wrong creatures

Destroying
They brawl
Crushing
They teem

Riding on jet-black wings of steel

An ending call
Final scream for mercy
To the angels above
Their end they forsee

White hope brought down
From the blackened skies
One last chance left
Before everyone dies

Crying
They crawl
Begging
They scream

For mercy from the hellsent doombringers

Reaping
They brawl
Killing
They teem

With thoughts of unmaking life

Weapons of war
Weapons of god
Drop from the heavens to defend
Ending the pain
Ending the rain
The war angels He will send

No angels complete
Without a little blood on the wings

Celestial bloodwreathers
Beserk angels wreck the hellspawn

Decimate the forces!
Crush the demons!

Once your land is clear
These angels of war
Will vanish from sight
Defending the earth evermore

Hope
They pray
Faith
They sing

Even the sacred must be bloodied once

Angels
They say
Salvation
They bring

Angels show the damned no mercy

Angels of death
Rain celestial fury
Over the damned!

Blood coated angels
Innocent as any other
But fight for the light
Fight for the divine right
Cleanse any demon in sight!

Angels kill
But for all the right reasons
Memories of A Dead Man Still Alive
By: Cory L.W. Clark
A memories what's remembered
It's what still remains
But what makes it stay?
Or a better question...

Is it strong enough to stay?

Tag the minds I've afflicted
What do you remember of me?
No matter my mark
My mark never stays

Someone break this chain of failure!

Lie to me of false hope
Tell this memory of a dead man
To stay within forever
But what point is there

To remember the dead?

You're visits to me
Are like tears over my tomb
Watching the pain flow
Over my grave

Every day...

Force their words away
Blessings I don't deserve
You come forth again
To share me your tears

Spare this soul the pain!

Watching you care for me
A death grip on a dead corpse
Begging for it to live again
You're prayers are in vain

I'm dead, there's no changing that...

My soul wanders from it's grave
Many wonder where it went
Why does it not come back?
Why does it not accept the faith they offer?

Just forget about me!

Memories you think are chained
Flow away easier than you thought
False words offer a home in your heart
Because you know your mind's too weak

To remember me....

I, as a member to the dead faction
Chose to break my earthly ties
Because my memory won't last forever
It's an inevitable curse

Memories drift away....

How dare you say you'll always be there?
How dare you lie to me?
I hope you all forget about this dead man
I'd rather be left in the past

Than be forsaken in the future...

When I can see our ties breaking
Our chains suffer because of me
I choose to break them
Before they choke us both

Grief, pain, haunting....

Granite etchings of an ended mortal
Tombs are like memories
They should just be left alone
Forgotten about

Cause all they make is pain...

Even the ones held dearest
Should be left behind
If they don't exist
Why should their memories?

Why hold onto a broken chain?

This soul will drift alone
You can't heal the dead
You can't mend eternal scars
I want you to let go

Don't suffer to keep a memory of me...

Quit crying over my grave
Let go of what's left of me
Leave this kindred soul
Forget this memory

I'm gonna be forgotten about....
I'm gonna be left in the end....
Why suffer later....
For what can be ended now...

Tis the end of my sorrowful memories.....

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Fallen Angel's Dreams of Faith
By: Cory L.W. Clark
The almighty angel
Symbol of Hope
Lightbringers
Godsent hope
But when the faith
Of the eternally loyal
Fades away to dark
And there's no stopping it
An angel falls from heaven...

That spirit that fell
The energy, life..
Everything that angel was
Must go somewhere
The angel's not corrupt
Not defective, not wretched
It's just a little lost
But how will it be found?

In the bodies of the mortal
Trading infinite knowledge
And everclear guidance
For flesh and failure
Bones and blood
Make a shelter of my body
Poor little angel
You're welcome to stay with me

Young was this accursed soul
Consumed by greed and hate
A past that crippled me
Til I was taken away by the angel
She stays within
Guiding my ravaged mind back
In exchange for a place to stay
Remain with me, guide me

Make the best of what's here
It may not be heaven
But heaven is what you make it
This angel's made paradise
Within this broken home
Making everything inside
Warm and bright again
Happy and peaceful

Take my mind
I give you control
Fix me angel, help me
So that now
I may think in enlightenment
Now this kindred soul
Has an angel in control
Turning me into what it makes me

Now I too am an angel
Seeing clear and bright again
I see light in the dark
Thanks to my little angel inside
She gives life to my dead body
She holds my hand in the dark
And tells me that everything will be fine
And I can't thank her enough...

She says she doesn't want heaven anymore
She doesn't want to go home
She wants to stay here with me
Little broken me
I can't give her anything in thanks
But she says she doesn't want anything
Other than to be with me
And to love me

This angel inside
She still stays within me
She gives me bright wings to fly with
And a light to hold on to
I'll love my angel forever
And let her show me better times
Act with the will of the angel within
I am now that of the angel inside

Angelic spirit and a forsaken body
Hand in hand we walk
Leaving light in our wake
Making the best of our ruins
And making the best of our lives
And once this body fails....
My angel will come with me
Back to heaven, guiding me

But I still have time to spend
In this world with my angel
So let's continue on my love
I'll continue on with my angel
I'll give her a home
And she'll give me her love
We are happy now
Despite our tragedies

Celestial resurgence
Divine ascention
With my angel inside
I will walk forward
With faith and hope
Never forgetting
Of my guardian
Of my one and only angel!


Guide me my love.....
Show me heaven....

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Undeserved Ruination...

Even though I hate my depression and wish to be rid of it, it'll always be here. Even when I don't feel it, it'll always be there, so when it does come up inside, I'll let it out in my usual poetry. I don't mind it coming back, so long as it's properly ventilated and doesn't stay too long. Enjoy my latest works and check out some of my other poems down below too. I do believe I'm slowly getting better at this....



Undeserved Ruination...
By Cory L.W. Clark
How much pain can one man take?
How long can the strongest will hold?
The pain rips and tears, leaving ruin in it's wake
This is life for you, for that is what I'm told

I watched in horror of the hell my parents saw
Never thinking my fate to be the same so soon
But alas is my future, a pain harvested so raw
My tears as blank and white as the midnight moon

I plead for the mercy I do so deserve
But get my torture thrown back ten-fold
My fading hope is becoming hard to preserve
Wearing down my mind, leaving my body cold

Nobody realizes how hurt and lonely I am
Nor does anyone really care
Nobody really gives a damn
I've come to see that help is rare

Everyone finds their lives so easy
Moving on without the suffering
And look at my life with pity
And see what a hard life can truly bring

Sorrow and despair like no other
A nightmare you can't even comprehend
Forever trapped in a broken Aether
Stuck with a broken heart none can mend

But you wouldn't know that pain
You wouldn't know the hell I've suffered
In happy days you all remain
You wouldn't know the storms I've endured

You think life's cheer is eternal?
You think things won't go to hell for you?
I've seen a glimpse of the infernal
And seen life, raw and true

Brace yourself for hell
Cause life hits hard and fast
It isn't always all good and well
The glory days don't always last

Get ready for the hell you never saw
In a swirling black mess you're left in
I'll show you this worlds burning law
That life can be very cruel in the end

When you breakdown inside
Just like I have so many times
With nobody left to confide
When you're soul slowly dies

I, still strong and holding
Used to life always feeding me it's worst
Will stand above laughing
Watching you struggle, bleeding and cursed

Your turn to be abused
You were raised weak
You'll die cause you're not used
To seeing your life so bleak

I'll watch you rip yourself apart
Bleed and tear at mortal wounds
But will I be there to dig you out?
Save you from you're god given tomb?

When you've seen true life
When you lose all you hold dear
I'll watch your pain and strife
I'll laugh hardest when that final scream I hear

Maybe if I think you understand
Endure this ethereal grave
If by the end you still stand
You're foolish ass I'll save

Don't misinterpret life's challenge
Don't misjudge this torture anymore
Cause life always has it's revenge
And you'll end up six feet in the floor

In the end you will suffer
You'll be ravaged and tore
Pain you'll have to endure
So mount up and prepare for war
Cause life can be quite a bitch

Angel Returns, Celestial Resurgence

The whole mess happened again.

Let's begin this story from December, 2010...

My depressions were terrible. I realized that my childhood actually caught up with me and started wreaking havoc on me, disintegrating my hope bit by bit. It really did hurt. But one fateful night "she" appeared.

Driving home from town, heading through the frost coated forest, the full moon was out and I could see it through the sunroof of the car. It was just entrancing. I stared at it until I was forced to change my sight to look over to the right out of the window. I was sitting behind the driver's seat (left seat in the back) and when I looked out to gaze at the moon again, I saw her. A young girl, about my age, with long brown hair and some hairclips in them. She wore a white dress, and her skin radiated a healing aura. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. She just looked at me and smiled warmly while I gazed at her rather than the moon, all the while asking myself "WTF????". I blinked my eyes a few times and she was still there, smiling warmly. Seconds later she disappeared but when I thought about it, I didn't dare say a word to my parents. I kept this to myself and just forgot about the whole thing, even though the image of that cute young girl burned right into my head forever. I still can see her angellic face smiling at me to this very day.

Still, my depression remained, and so did my guardian angel whose name I didn't even know. More stories from here...

Sitting down at my makeshift desk made from TV trays sitting in front of my 62-inch plasma screen, my laptop on the right-most tray playing my music while I listened off my headphones. Casually playing games, I noticed that the heater fell apart on me. Stupid thing couldn't keep plugged in anymore. Naturally, me forced to thrive off of HEAT, I was pissed. It was probably the middle of effin winter too, near the middle of December. Freezing my ass off and my fingers turning numb while I played, I felt her hands wrap around me while I sat at my chair, now dazed and confused. They were so warm! It was like she was standing right behind me while I sat and just stood there warming my whole entire body, mind, and soul. I was terrified and at peace at the same time, still trying to discern what the hell was going on. Those hands left after a few minutes and I was in an absolute panic. Hyperventilating and trying to calm myself, I let the whole thing go. I couldn't shrug off that one so I just accepted it and move on.

Later that exact same week, I sat on my couch playing my keyboard. Conjuring up my newest melody that I had been working on for a while, I felt those hands again but they just rested on my shoulders and even with my headphones on, I could hear her say right in my ear...

"You're very good..."

I didn't panic this time. I knew something was going on but I was getting used to it. She didn't mean harm so I had no reason to be afraid. Once the hands were gone, I looked into the whole subject on angels. I researched for a night or two, interested by the whole thought of actually having a guardian angel.

Last story...

Occasionally I felt her presence pass by me. I figured out that with my parents being of mystic decent, I learned of my "ability" and accepted it out of interest. That had me looking even further into the subject. Well, up in my attic or as some know it, my sanctuary, I played my keyboard up there thinking about doing some sound tests for my camera to get the pitch to work on it. Before video taping, the power went out for a few seconds. First words out of my mouth: "Aww...shit....here we go again..." The power had been going out due to power lines freezing and shattering to pieces cause of the cold. The power came back on and there she sat next to me, smiling again. I was mystified, turned my head back to my keyboard and tried to relax myself. I knew she wasn't an evil spirit here to hurt me or scare the holy shit out of me. I felt her wrap her arms around me again and she rested her head on my shoulder, still sitting next to me. I knew I was either completely delusional from the cold or actually seeing an angel. I still have my doubts, but not anymore. She let go and disappeared, and I haven't seen her til lately.

As from my other blog posts, I have clearly been going through my depressions again. I haven't been feeling well at all. So here's the most recent update from "Angel"

Sitting in my computer chair, I had my music playing from my Xbox and had my Triton headset on just listening my music while I woke myself up. I went to bed early and woke up early, about 4:00 in the morning. It's about 7:00 now though. I had my glass of tea and felt a slight chill in the air from grandma turning the heat down. I turned up the heat cause the nights got very cold. I sat back down after fussing with the temperature and checked the blog and Facebook when I felt a very thick cloud of cold air hit my shoulder. At first I thought to myself: "Grandma if you have that fuckin fan on again..."

That damn fan wasn't moving...

I looked back at my computer and I felt her put her arm on my left shoulder and she wrapped the other arm around me and lay it on my right shoulder. It almost felt like she was trying to pull me toward her. I started tearing up, not crying from fear, but tears of joy. I still listened to my music and it started coming back to life again. I could really start enjoying my music again! I could feel everything again, my feelings finally returned. I feel happy again, finally happy. I'll be recording every single instance I sense my guardian angel from now on, but for now I'm going to sit back and relax.

But even though this happiness is here now, how long will it last before I need my guardian angel again? This war isn't over yet, the war of darkness. I can still feel the depression trying to eat at me...

Sadest part though...
I still have no fucking clue who she even is yet!!!
For now I'll just call her Angel....

Friday, July 1, 2011

See The End And Feel It Near, Why Keep Going If The Blood Lies Here?

So paranoid and hateful. All my thoughts grow corrupt. I think all the wrong things, things that defy my sacred rules and ethics. But the pain keeps growing. I keep hearing the sounds. All those stupid sounds. I hear things I know aren't here. I'm now talking with people that don't exist. I blabber on to myself without thinking. Talking to myself, cause there's nobody here. I think I'm talking to people, but I know I'm not. Telling myself of all the betrayals, the hate, the fear...

I feel like I should just abandon all my friends and leave them behind. I know I shouldn't, I don't want to, but I feel like I should. Or better yet, let them go on ahead, and let myself be the one left behind. My depressions grow so damn strong. I can't even really think straight anymore. But my stubborness will always keep me from asking for help or accepting it. I want to be alone with my madness for a while. Get to know it and get used to it being here. It'll be the first thing to occupy this home that is my mind.

I'm sorry to those I hurt for being away, I'm sorry to those that wish to see me. But I'll be with my mad state of mind for a while. Maybe I'll come back in a week or a few days, or maybe I'll be gone for months at a time. I don't know how long it's gonna take for me to get used to all the madness and insanity. I don't feel good. I don't feel good at all...

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Another Day, Another Vision, Ripping My Soul Apart....

It's worse today. After much consideration, my grandma finally agreed to let one of my best friends, Alex, move in. The only problem is...

I can't feel the happiness!!!
There's nothing in there! Not a fucking thing!
I can't feel happiness, I can't feel sadness anymore. I feel like my mind is reverting to living off logic. No more emotion, no more anything.

I don't know if this can be reversed, if it's temporary or what. All I know is that I actually feel like I'm dying on the inside. No more can I even feel my heart beat pulsing blood in my veins. I lay every finger I have on my wrists but there's no beating. I can see my body growing more and more pale every day and I keep hearing those damned noises. Machinery running, people talking, music I've never even fucking heard running all around me. These noises are infiltrating and making home of my ravaged head.

I'm gonna fucking lose it in this stupid place! Not even my most sacred of things, my music, is healing anymore. They're just dead beats, ended notes. There's energy in this body still, but how long till it's gone and I'm left stuck in the dark with no way out?

This happened once before. I started seeing things, what I believed to be spirits. A while back I started sensing things, some of which I believed to be angels, some of which I believed to be demons. I don't know about it though. A very sketchy thing. But my parents were of spiritual descent, leading me to believe that I may have inherited some sort of trait. My grandma and my mother had it, they were of the Sisk side of the family, the side with the traits, so I can easily be left to believe that I've picked up one more of these traits. I already have the ability to sense angels and demons around, but now I can hear spirits too?

I don't think I can handle this kind of situation! I'm already driven to madness from my own childhood, it rotting my mind and corroding it, but now I'm to be haunted and driven even further into my insanity?? This is almost too much. Am I possessed? Am I just losing my mind? What the hell is going on anymore??

Disruption and Violence

Things are getting bad. I'm pretty sure I'm slowly losing my mind in this place. Last night, I leaving one of my good friends a text telling her I was going to bed. While I was typing though, I heard something. Bells. Like bell bells. Not church bells but bells in a band. They were playing what sounded like a lullaby. I could hear people talking amongst it. I didn't recognize any of the voices but the song sounded kinda familiar. I finished texting and the sounds subsided but it only gets weirder. I started tearing up and almost cried for no reason. I couldn't contain myself, I openly wept for no reason at all. Once I slowed my tears though, I gained a mysterious bloodlust. This was beyond anything any of my depressions spawned before, and truthfully, it terrified me. I needed blood! Even just to see death and chaos would subside the strange beast within. Turning on my Xbox and actually playing it for the first time in weeks, I played Gears of War for about 4 hours. I made it to wave 40 before my fury ended and I could go to bed. Somethings very wrong with me, I don't think the depression stages are doing this anymore, I think I'm actually starting to lose grip of my mind. I hope this doesn't continue, I really don't plan to spend my future in the psycho ward...

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Mindset of Corruption

Mindset of Corruption
By Cory L.W. Clark

Everything ends
Sometimes in ravage
~Ruin~

Walking the darkened fields
No fear of seeing this blood on the ground
~Pain~

Every step forward into the moonlight
More blood crawling up my legs
~Death~

Every day brings forth the corruption
Can't keep control
Over my corroded soul
Telling me that which is wrong
Knowing it's false morals and ethics
Forced obedience of dead rules

Tinting my vision
A cold, blood red
~Hate~

Reversing my mind
Resetting my thoughts
~Control~

Open my eyes one last time
To see the world as I know it isn't
~Obedience~

I've been traced, followed
By a reaper's taint
To see the darkness taking over
Sheathing the heart in it's pain
Seeing the world again in blood
Seeing my friends as my enemies

What's dark is light
What's light is dark
~Entropy~

Blood seeping from my clutched hands
The sacred blood what I once held dear
~Chaos~

Seeing the end of my world
Making way for the vision of chaos
~Torment~

Push my blade against the heads of my friends
Seeing their end
For my mind told me to
It isn't what it once was
The only thing remaining
Is a faint memory
Of a light that is no more

Dark echoes of an ended life
Sonic blasts of a dead sight
~Madness~

Seeing what kept me alive
Leaving me behind now
~Abandonment~

Just my dead body walking onwards
Nobody wants to be with the corrupted
~Loneliness~

Beg for my liberation
Set me free from my prison
Blind torture of my ravaged soul
I can't even see my pain anymore
Making my mind weakened
To everything evil and hellish

Jump at the smallest shadows
Seeing creatures unknown, tricks of the mind
~Slaughter~

Cleaving the innocent apart
Not knowing any better anymore
~Fury~

Thinking your intent as black as mine
Ending you before you hurt me
~Panic~

I can't help my urges anymore
Every blind move hurts the beautiful
Ending a perfect world
One blood covered step at a time
Nobody stops this corruption from taking over
Nobody can listen, nobody can live

Let nobody interfere
Let the plague consume
~Weakness~

It devours your innocence
Leaving a hated creature in it's wake
~Corruption~

Another cold, bloody soldier
Left to destroy heaven's land for dark reason
~Savagery~

What once was the heart of the enlightened
Is a heart of dark intent
No reason to demolish a once perfect land
This creature roams without reasoning
No morales left to guide it's dead mind
No friends to call it's own
Shredding apart it's comrades in fear

Afraid of every and all
Be you a friend or an enemy inside
I destroy it all, letting the darkness
Instruct my path of fury
Guide me to what I now see
As a perfect world of my own
Nobody to betray me
Nobody to threaten me
Nobody to hate me
Nobody to kill me
Nobody's left
Just remnants of my fragmented mind
A bloodstained world
I made with my black hands
Out of my fear and paranoia
Now I will walk with my scythe in hand
Venture the fallen land
Seeking any that survived my rage
To forever secure myself
My dead soul, heart, and body
Trapped
In my mindset of corruption
~Armageddon~